How do I say what I mean so that it lands?
Saying what you mean. Most communication problems are not about vocabulary; they come from being unclear about the one thing you want the other person to know or do. Fear of conflict also pushes us to hint rather than ask, which feels kinder in the moment and usually makes things harder later.
Sound familiar?
Tap any that sound like you.
Try one this week
Bottom line first10 min
- Before your next important email or meeting, write one sentence: what do I want them to know or do?
- Put that sentence at the top.
- Add only the context they need to act on it.
- Cut any sentence that exists only to protect you.
- End with a clear request and a date.
Listen first, then speak15 min
- In your next real conversation, aim to speak for less than half the time.
- Before you respond, sum up what you heard in one sentence and check it: “So the main thing for you is the deadline, is that right?”
- Ask one follow-up question before you offer any advice.
- Afterwards, note how the conversation went compared with your usual pattern.
Script a hard conversation20 min
- Write what you have observed in neutral, specific terms, without labels such as “lazy” or “rude”.
- Write the effect it has on you or the work.
- Write what you would like to happen instead.
- Add one genuine question that invites their side.
- Say it out loud once before the real conversation.