I'm adjusting to a new country and a new academic system
Make sense of the unwritten rules, find the right support, and give yourself real time to settle.
In short
Start here, today. Write down the things about how your department works that you're unsure of, such as how to address people, how often to contact your supervisor and what's expected in seminars. Pick one and ask a senior PhD student about it this week. This takes about 15 minutes.
After that, work through these steps. Choose one to jump to it.
Step by step
Tick each step as you finish it. Open a step for the how.
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Ask about the unwritten rules
Ask your supervisor directly how they'd like you to work: how to address them, how often to send updates, whether they expect you to propose next steps or wait for direction. Norms really do differ. Formal titles are still common in parts of Europe, while in Canada and the US many professors expect first names from the start. Supervisors are rarely asked this directly, and most appreciate it.
Practise speaking up in small steps
If seminars feel intimidating, prepare one question or comment in advance and aim to say it in the first half, before the moment passes. A clarifying question counts. Over a term it gets easier, and people start to know your voice.
Find the international student office
This office exists for exactly your situation. It usually helps with study permits and visas, health insurance, tax and settling in, and often runs orientation and social events. Find out where it is and what it offers in your first month, before you need it urgently.
Take immigration questions to official sources only
Study permits, work hours, permits after graduation and family visas have detailed rules that change, and getting them wrong can have serious consequences. Check your host government's official immigration website and ask the international student office, which often has trained advisors. Don't act on answers from friends, group chats or forums, however confident they sound. If you need legal advice, the office can usually point you to someone qualified.
Sort out money and housing early
Compare a few ways of sending money home, since fees and exchange rates vary, and ask other international students what they use. For housing, ask the international office or graduate association about trusted listings, and never send a deposit for a place you haven't seen or verified. If money is tight, the financial aid office is there for students in your position too.
Build some community
Look for a mix. People from home understand you without explanation, and people from your new country and department can show you how things work. Graduate associations, cultural student groups, faith communities, sports and writing groups are all reasonable places to start. One or two steady friendships matter more than a full social calendar.
Give yourself a year
Treat the first year as a period of adjustment as much as research. Homesickness often comes in waves, around holidays, family events back home or the darker months. Keep regular contact with home, and if low mood lasts for weeks or gets in the way of daily life, talk to the counselling service.
Words you can use
Is this you? Signs to look for
- You're not sure whether to call your supervisor by their first name or their title.
- Seminars move fast and you hold back, even when you have something to say.
- You're waiting to be told what to do, and nobody is telling you.
- Feedback feels either very blunt or so gentle you can't tell if something is wrong.
- Ordinary tasks, like opening a bank account or sending money home, take whole days.
Why this happens
Moving countries for a PhD means learning two systems at once: daily life somewhere new, and an academic culture with its own unwritten rules. In some systems, students wait for direction and treat professors with formal respect. In others, you're expected to set your own agenda, use first names and disagree with your supervisor in a meeting. If you grew up addressing every older person as Sir, Ma or Auntie, writing “Hi David” to a senior professor can feel almost impossible at first. Neither way is better, but the mismatch can look like a lack of initiative when it's really a difference in expectations.
Critique is a common example. In many North American and European programs, questioning a published paper or a senior academic's argument is part of the job, not a sign of disrespect. If you were taught that respect means not challenging your elders, this can stay uncomfortable for a long time. It's a skill you can learn without giving up your values.
Everything also takes more energy in the first year: the accent, the weather, the forms, the food, missing people at home. Feeling tired, slow or out of place for months is a normal response to a large change. It doesn't mean you made the wrong decision.
Worth a look (2)
- How to Get a PhD, by Estelle Phillips and Derek PughA practical handbook on how the doctoral process and the supervisor relationship usually work.
- Find A HelplineFree, confidential helplines in many countries, if you need to talk to someone outside office hours.
When to bring someone in
For visas, study and work permits, health insurance and settling in, go to the international student office, and for immigration rules rely only on official government sources or a qualified advisor. For academic expectations, start with your supervisor and graduate coordinator. The writing centre can help if academic English is slowing you down. If you feel isolated or low for weeks, the counselling service can help, and some universities have counsellors with particular experience supporting international students.
Find the right person, or talk to Ify