Waiting to hear back is hard, or I've been rejected

Check portals and email at a set time, such as once a day after lunch, rather than whenever the worry rises. Tell the people around you roughly when you expect to hear, so you're not asked for updates every day. Keep up the ordinary things that steady you, such as sleep, food, movement and time with people you like.

Keep a short list of things that will help whatever happens, such as reading in your field, finishing a course or project, saving money or looking into scholarships with later deadlines. Absorbing hobbies count as well, because they make the waiting easier to bear. If it all starts to feel like too much, the 15-Minute Reset can help you find one next step.

First look at the program's website and your portal, since many programs say when decisions are released. If that date has passed, or the portal shows a document as missing, a short, polite email to the admissions office is fine. Include your name, program and application number, then add a follow-up date to the Waiting-For List rather than writing again straight away.

A waitlist usually means the program would like to admit you if a place or funding becomes available, often after admitted students make their decisions. Reply promptly if they ask whether you want to stay on it, and if the program is your first choice, send a short note saying so, with any important update such as a new award or result. In the US, waitlists often move in the days around April 15, because under the Council of Graduate Schools' April 15 Resolution, many programs can't require admitted students to decide on funding offers before then.

It's normal to feel disappointed, embarrassed or angry for a while. Talk to someone who's on your side, and wait a few days before making any big decisions. Look back through your Wins and Accomplishments list too, because the work that got you to the point of applying is still real.

Some programs give feedback to unsuccessful applicants, and many can't, often because of the number of applications they receive. If you'd like to try, send one short, polite email asking whether they offer feedback and what would strengthen a future application. If they can't, a lecturer or supervisor who knows your field may be willing to read your application and give you an honest view.

Before reapplying, look honestly at what you could change: a clearer statement, better-matched programs, stronger references, more research or work experience or a higher test score. If the program was a long shot, widen your list next time. If you reapply to the same program, check whether it asks reapplicants what has changed, and make sure something has.