I'm parenting or caring for someone while studying
Fit graduate work around children or caregiving, and find out what leave and support your university offers.
In short
Start here, today. Look up your program's rules on parental leave, leave of absence and part-time study, and note who in your graduate office handles these requests. This takes about 20 minutes.
After that, work through these steps. Choose one to jump to it.
Step by step
Tick each step as you finish it. Open a step for the how.
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Plan around the time you actually have
Map out a real week, including care, travel and sleep, then place research in the blocks that are left. Use the Weekly Plan to choose three outcomes that fit those hours, and protect one block for your most important task. Short sessions count.
Tell your supervisor what you need
You don't have to share every detail, but your supervisor can't plan around constraints they don't know about. Explain your working hours, any dates you can't travel and which meeting times work. Agree on how you'll let each other know when something comes up.
Find out about leave before you need it
If you're expecting a child, or someone's care needs are growing, ask your graduate office about parental, caregiving or compassionate leave. Ask how leave affects your time limit, tuition, funding, health insurance and, for international students, your study permit. If you hold a scholarship, check the funder's rules as well.
Ask for flexibility in the department
If seminars, lab meetings or events are always at times you can't make, say so. Ask whether they could be recorded, moved earlier in the day or sometimes held online. You're probably not the only person who would benefit.
Look for practical support
Check what your university and student association offer, such as campus childcare, family housing, lactation spaces, emergency funds and groups for student parents and caregivers. Waitlists for campus childcare can be long, so join them early.
Lower the bar on everything else
Something has to give, and it shouldn't be your sleep or your health. Decide what can be good enough for now, from housework to how polished a draft is before you send it. Use Brain Dump and Sort to clear out commitments that can wait.
Words you can use
Talking to your supervisor about a change at home
Hi [Name], I wanted to let you know about a change at home. [I'm expecting a baby in month, or I've become the main caregiver for a family member.] I'm committed to my research, and I'd like to plan for this rather than fall behind. Could we talk about [options such as parental leave, part-time study or adjusting the timeline for my next milestone]? I'm also checking the program rules with [the graduate office]. Would [two or three times] work for a meeting? Thank you, [Your name]
Is this you? Signs to look for
- Your working day ends when childcare or a care shift does, not when the work is finished.
- Department events happen in the evening, when you can't be there.
- You feel behind classmates who can work late or travel at short notice.
- A baby is on the way, or someone's care needs have suddenly increased, and you don't know what happens to your program.
Why this happens
Many graduate students are parents or caregivers, even though academic schedules rarely assume it. Seminars run late, fieldwork means time away, and the expectation of always being available is built into a lot of research culture. Caring for someone doesn't make you less committed. It makes your time more limited and your planning more important.
Short, regular blocks of focused time go a long way in research, especially for writing. Students with caring responsibilities often become very good at using the hour they have rather than waiting for a free day that never comes.
Universities usually have formal options, such as parental leave, part-time study and extensions, but students often don't hear about them until they ask. At some universities parental leave can last up to 18 months, and time on an approved leave doesn't count toward the program's time limit. Rules vary a lot, so check your own.
Worth a look (5)
- Leave of absence, University of Calgary graduate regulationsAn example of graduate leave rules, including parental leave of up to 18 months that doesn't count toward time in program.
- Graduate student support and advising, University of Calgary Faculty of Graduate StudiesAn example of the confidential advice graduate offices give on leaves, extensions and program changes.
- Find A HelplineSearch by country and topic to find free, confidential helplines you can call, text or chat with. It works wherever you're studying, including just after a move abroad.
- Befrienders WorldwideA directory of emotional support centres around the world, where trained volunteers listen without judging. Search by country to find one you can contact.
- Doing What Matters in Times of StressAn illustrated WHO guide to coping with stress, built on short self-help exercises you can practise for a few minutes a day. It's free, with audio, in many languages.
When to bring someone in
Your graduate studies office can explain leave and part-time options and what they mean for funding and time limits. Your student association may run family support programs or help with emergency funds. If caregiving is affecting your health or mood, talk to a doctor or your university's counselling service. If you feel you're being treated unfairly because of your family status, your university's equity or human rights office can advise you.
Find the right person, or talk to Ify